Resolved!

I had the starter wiring cir***vented and had a push button start installed.

Now it starts right up and keeps chugging alone. Believe it or not, the car only cost me $500. 2000 Seville STS model that has 147k and oil changes done at the dealership. Apparently they weren't able to track down the problem (tons of new parts in the engine bay) and the vehicle was traded in to Carmax as non-running for $500.

We'll see how long my luck lasts. But for now I am eternally grateful for all your help and support.

Thanks!