clean jokes
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 144
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RE: clean jokes
ORIGINAL: stomper
I give up .. how?
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A bus full of Nuns is along a dangerous mountain road and its brakes give out around a particularly tight corner and crashes down into a ravine where it explodes, all of the Nuns are incinerated instantly.
The Nuns arrive at the exclusive Nuns entrance to Heaven (kinda like a VIP entrance to a rock concert but more cloud-like) where they meet Saint Peter who is standing next to a font which is filled with Holy Water.
Saint Peter greets the Nuns and asks the first one in line, "Is any aspect of you impure in some way?"
The first Nun replies, "Well... I did once see a man's *****..."
Saint Peter tells her not to worry as the Holy Water will purify her vision, he then splashes some of the Holy Water onto her eyes and allows her into heaven.
He asks the second Nun the same thing who replies "I did once... touch a man's *****." Saint Peter then purifies her vision and dips her hands in the Holy Water to purify her touch and then allows her into Heaven.
Saint Peter is then about to ask the third Nun the question when the Nun at the back charges through the line to the front looking very exasperated.
Saint Peter quickly asks, "What is the matter sister?"
the Nun replies "Nothing's wrong I just want to gargle with it before Sister Susan dips her **** in it"
ORIGINAL: G.A.R.Y.
Okay, how do you get a nun pregnant?
Okay, how do you get a nun pregnant?
=============
A bus full of Nuns is along a dangerous mountain road and its brakes give out around a particularly tight corner and crashes down into a ravine where it explodes, all of the Nuns are incinerated instantly.
The Nuns arrive at the exclusive Nuns entrance to Heaven (kinda like a VIP entrance to a rock concert but more cloud-like) where they meet Saint Peter who is standing next to a font which is filled with Holy Water.
Saint Peter greets the Nuns and asks the first one in line, "Is any aspect of you impure in some way?"
The first Nun replies, "Well... I did once see a man's *****..."
Saint Peter tells her not to worry as the Holy Water will purify her vision, he then splashes some of the Holy Water onto her eyes and allows her into heaven.
He asks the second Nun the same thing who replies "I did once... touch a man's *****." Saint Peter then purifies her vision and dips her hands in the Holy Water to purify her touch and then allows her into Heaven.
Saint Peter is then about to ask the third Nun the question when the Nun at the back charges through the line to the front looking very exasperated.
Saint Peter quickly asks, "What is the matter sister?"
the Nun replies "Nothing's wrong I just want to gargle with it before Sister Susan dips her **** in it"
Oh my. Nuns and *****. tsk tsk tsk
Tech Certified Members
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,160
From: in the mitten
RE: clean jokes
A Captain is retiring from the service after 30yrs. When asked what he is going to do afterward, he says : I'm going to be a chicken farmer. A month later he has bought a farm and goes down to the co-op and buys 3 dozen chicks. A month later he buys 3 dozen more. This goes on for 6 mo.s buying 3 dozen at a time. So a month later he back in for more chicks, the storekeeper says to him: Captain you must have 200 chickens,why are you still buying chicks? The Captian looks at him and says: I don't have not a one, "I THINK I AM PLANTING THEM TOO DEEP".
Tech Certified Members
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,160
From: in the mitten
RE: clean jokes
Disclaimer:Youngers may not understand.
The new preacher moves to a small town. After setting in he goes out to meet some of his congregation. He stops at the first house the widow spencer, who remembers when dirt was invented. When she opens door, she exclaims "Conway Twitty". He says no, I'm the new preacher. He chats a while and off to the next house. At the next house Mrs. Jackson,a rather large woman,anwers the door and exclaims "Conway Twiity" He says no, I'm the new preacher. So he chats a while and off to the next house. At his last stop of the afternoon Ms Johnson, the the new school teacher just out college, She answers the door and exclaims "Conway Twitty" He says "HELLO DARLING"
The new preacher moves to a small town. After setting in he goes out to meet some of his congregation. He stops at the first house the widow spencer, who remembers when dirt was invented. When she opens door, she exclaims "Conway Twitty". He says no, I'm the new preacher. He chats a while and off to the next house. At the next house Mrs. Jackson,a rather large woman,anwers the door and exclaims "Conway Twiity" He says no, I'm the new preacher. So he chats a while and off to the next house. At his last stop of the afternoon Ms Johnson, the the new school teacher just out college, She answers the door and exclaims "Conway Twitty" He says "HELLO DARLING"
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