Universal Laws
#1
07-31-2009, 08:56 AM
Universal Laws
Universal Law
1a. Law of automobile Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
1b. Law of automobile repair 2 - Immediately after your mechanic eyes your car, the car's problem disappears. Immediately after arriving home from mechanic, the car's problem returns.
1c. Law of automotive Repair 3 - Your perfectly running car will only break down on vacation, 300 miles from home.
2. Law of Technician's - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll exactly under the center of the car.
3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..
6. Variation Law - If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in, speeds up and the one you are in now STOPS moving.
7. Law of the Toilet - When you pull your pants down and sit, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Liar - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will .. when you try to show someone how great a machine is, it wont start.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last while those in the aisle seats arrive early.
12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face up on the carpet is zero.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about and you can easily solve anything by the phrase " it depends."
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
20. The Law of the Parking Lot - When you open the door and hit the car next to you, the driver of the other car is always sitting in his car.
21. The Law of the Parking Lot 2 - In a parking lot of 10,000 cars, you and the drivers of the two cars at each side of your car, arrive at the same time with loaded baskets.
22.
.
1a. Law of automobile Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
1b. Law of automobile repair 2 - Immediately after your mechanic eyes your car, the car's problem disappears. Immediately after arriving home from mechanic, the car's problem returns.
1c. Law of automotive Repair 3 - Your perfectly running car will only break down on vacation, 300 miles from home.
2. Law of Technician's - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll exactly under the center of the car.
3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..
6. Variation Law - If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in, speeds up and the one you are in now STOPS moving.
7. Law of the Toilet - When you pull your pants down and sit, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Liar - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will .. when you try to show someone how great a machine is, it wont start.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last while those in the aisle seats arrive early.
12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face up on the carpet is zero.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about and you can easily solve anything by the phrase " it depends."
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
20. The Law of the Parking Lot - When you open the door and hit the car next to you, the driver of the other car is always sitting in his car.
21. The Law of the Parking Lot 2 - In a parking lot of 10,000 cars, you and the drivers of the two cars at each side of your car, arrive at the same time with loaded baskets.
22.
.
Last edited by stomper; 07-31-2009 at 09:14 AM.
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