recycling something that may be funny to some ..
old har to others ..

-----------------------------

Squirrels...

There were five country churches in a small NORTH CAROLINA town......
Presbyterian, Baptist, Methodist, the Catholic Church and the Jewish
Synagogue. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH called a meeting to
decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and
consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined
to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the BAPTIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in
the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the
baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped
somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The METHODIST CHURCH decided that they were not in a position to
harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and
set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the
squirrels were back.

The CATHOLIC CHURCH came up with the best and most effective
solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the
church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the JEWISH SYNAGOGUE, but they were
seen taking one squirrel and had a short service with him called
"cir***cision" and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property
since.


===================================

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was
dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you
don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my
bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me
feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV
as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She
started adjusting the *****, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix
the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the
door, and there stood Grandma's minister.

The minister said, "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom
bangin' her boyfriend."


=======================================


A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters
restaurant.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once
in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go
out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to bartender, and asked, "May I please use the
restroom?"

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a
statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant, and
she proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out,
and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud
round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand” ...
"Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender

"Would you like a drink?"

"But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the leaf on the statue
is lifted up, the lights go out.

Now, How about that drink?"








.

 

What is the definition of innocence?





A nun working in a condom factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.





.

 

Ok, these are pretty good but I think you are just trying to run up your Post count. If that's the way you want it then just watch my next post.

 

G.A.R.Y.

he knows not that i (we) dont even have to try.


KC,

one could take that as a challenge, but there isnt
even a need. we simply dont care about them stars.
stick around and you will understand

and .. tell me your name isnt ryan ...





.