Land of the Rising Buns
#1
11-13-2007, 01:44 PM
Land of the Rising Buns
Land of the Rising Buns
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by restroomratings.com
The Top 10 Mistakes of the Public Restroom Patron by Jon Thompson [ol][*]Ignore the attendant. If you're lucky enough to be in a restroom with an attendant, do not take them for granted. They are the reason for the restroom's pristine condition and will, no doubt, have a plethora of interesting stories to tell.[*]Set things down. When forced to bring your precious belongings into the restroom with you, do not make the mistake of setting them down anywhere. Crutch them under your arm or balance them on your head to avoid contaminating them.[*]Select the wrong urinal. It may seem complex at first, but it's actually quite simple. The rule of thumb with urinal picking is to always take the furthest from any other occupied units. If this means getting stuck with the short urinal. Tough luck. It's your duty. When confronted with a trough urinal, select a corner first, otherwise the largest open space. Be sure to pay special attention to the next problem area.[*]Lose focus. Men, the social moré of maintaining a complacent forward gaze towards the wall throughout your restroom experience seems to be an important rule to abide - though I cannot tell you the consequences of a sidelong glance, as I've never witnessed one firsthand.[*]Leave evidence. Think of the restroom as a National Park. It is a public amenity enjoyed best when patrons are respectful of their surroundings - taking nothing and leaving nothing. Of course, you will be leaving something, but that is why God invented the flush toilet.[*]Drunken whizzes. When that seventh Pabst hits you and you stumble to the restroom, you may impress yourself with your elegant and expressive display of choreographed tinkling. But take it from the sober guy. It's not that impressive. Rather, it's quite sloppy and angers most everyone.[*]Excessive "shaking". (men) The official rule is no more than 4 shakes. You break it, you **** it.[*]Become a statistic. The CDC estimates that only 1 in 3 people wash their hands after using the restroom. There's a pretty good chance that you will shake the hands of the other 2 throughout the day. For that reason alone, you should wash your hands. Oh and also because you just touched your genitals.[*]Sink-splash. Be wary of powerful faucets with shallow bowls that tend to make suspicious splash marks on your chinos. It is recommended you stand as far away as possible from sinks which you are unfamiliar with as you turn them on.. Mr. Potty Pants.[*]Touch the door handle. So you get done using an auto-flush urinal, wave your hands under the sink to start the water and use several doses of anti-bacterial soap. After drying your hands on the touchless hand-dryer you grab the door handle and make your exit. What is wrong with this picture?
The Top 10 Mistakes of the Public Restroom Patron by Jon Thompson [ol][*]Ignore the attendant. If you're lucky enough to be in a restroom with an attendant, do not take them for granted. They are the reason for the restroom's pristine condition and will, no doubt, have a plethora of interesting stories to tell.[*]Set things down. When forced to bring your precious belongings into the restroom with you, do not make the mistake of setting them down anywhere. Crutch them under your arm or balance them on your head to avoid contaminating them.[*]Select the wrong urinal. It may seem complex at first, but it's actually quite simple. The rule of thumb with urinal picking is to always take the furthest from any other occupied units. If this means getting stuck with the short urinal. Tough luck. It's your duty. When confronted with a trough urinal, select a corner first, otherwise the largest open space. Be sure to pay special attention to the next problem area.[*]Lose focus. Men, the social moré of maintaining a complacent forward gaze towards the wall throughout your restroom experience seems to be an important rule to abide - though I cannot tell you the consequences of a sidelong glance, as I've never witnessed one firsthand.[*]Leave evidence. Think of the restroom as a National Park. It is a public amenity enjoyed best when patrons are respectful of their surroundings - taking nothing and leaving nothing. Of course, you will be leaving something, but that is why God invented the flush toilet.[*]Drunken whizzes. When that seventh Pabst hits you and you stumble to the restroom, you may impress yourself with your elegant and expressive display of choreographed tinkling. But take it from the sober guy. It's not that impressive. Rather, it's quite sloppy and angers most everyone.[*]Excessive "shaking". (men) The official rule is no more than 4 shakes. You break it, you **** it.[*]Become a statistic. The CDC estimates that only 1 in 3 people wash their hands after using the restroom. There's a pretty good chance that you will shake the hands of the other 2 throughout the day. For that reason alone, you should wash your hands. Oh and also because you just touched your genitals.[*]Sink-splash. Be wary of powerful faucets with shallow bowls that tend to make suspicious splash marks on your chinos. It is recommended you stand as far away as possible from sinks which you are unfamiliar with as you turn them on.. Mr. Potty Pants.[*]Touch the door handle. So you get done using an auto-flush urinal, wave your hands under the sink to start the water and use several doses of anti-bacterial soap. After drying your hands on the touchless hand-dryer you grab the door handle and make your exit. What is wrong with this picture?
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