blonde joke
 

This one is for Zin, since he like blonde jokes so much!

Blonde answers an ad in the paper, to paint some guy's porch. She goes to the house with paint & paintbrush, and says she'll do it for $50. The guy thinks that's not bad, since he has a pretty big porch, so he agrees and goes back in the house. 20 minutes later the blonde rings the doorbell and says, "Ok, I'm done!" At first the guy is amazed that she's done so quickly, but then she says, "And oh yeah, that's not a Porsche, it's a Lexus."

RE: blonde joke
 

Hey Jim

Thanks for the memories, sorta miss all that stuff from over yonder.

RE: blonde joke
 

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.


Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.


The blonde started laughing.


This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.




This time the blonde laughed even harder.




Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.




The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.




The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

















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RE: blonde joke
 

At least I've been very selective and a good story only pops up once every few months.

RE: blonde joke
 

I know Zin, This one seems more your type.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory?

She through away all the W's

RE: blonde joke
 

A blonde calls an airline office. 'How long does it take to fly to Texas from New York?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says the blonde and hangs up.

RE: blonde joke
 

I'll buy that one Jim, even though I really expect you'd find different colored "roots."

RE: blonde joke
 

The pretty young blonde teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face?"


"Yes," the class said.


"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
the blood doesn't run into my feet?"


A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty"





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RE: blonde joke
 

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.

The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer."

The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.

She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then."

So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now."

RE: blonde joke
 

This couple are dead asleep at 2 am and the phone rings, the blonde answers the phone, there is a brief pause and then the blonde says " How and the hell am I supposed to know , that's 250 miles from here" and then hangs up. Well her husband kind of wakes up in a groggy state and says " Honey who was that" the blonde says " I don't know, just some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear".

RE: blonde joke - killer Pillsbury Boy ?
 

a report that really run in several newpapers ...


Linda Burnett, 23 year old blonde, resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car.

He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains.

She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

================================

the story is a fake, but it is a fact that quite a few newpapers did print it ..
It is believed that the "journalists/columnists" were in fact blondes.

Orlando Sentinal, 1996
Fresno Bee, 1996
Knoxville Sential, 1998

http://www.snopes.com/crime/safety/biscuit.asp

RE: blonde joke - killer Pillsbury Boy ?
 

Love it, and to think, it might have been a presidential candidate!!

RE: blonde joke - killer Pillsbury Boy ?
 

it gets better ...
read and you will wonder why we (some of us) paid good money for newspapers


==============


Several major news outlets in September 2002, reported the following:

A study by the World Health Organization found that natural blonds are likely to be extinct within 200 years because there are too few people carrying the blond gene. According to the WHO study, the last natural blond is likely to be born in Finland during 2202.

The reasons why blondes are headed towards extinction is because blonde hair is produced by a recessive gene, and because "bottle blondes" are more attractive to men than natural blondes and are therefore more likely to be chosen as mating partners.

The story goes back to a German wire service, which in turn was based on a two-year-old article in the German women's magazine Allegra, which cited a WHO anthropologist.

The World Health Organization denies ever making such studies, yet the "newspapers published."


"Cavegirls Were First Blondes to Have Fun."
The London Times. 2006.

"Blondes 'to Die Out in 200 Years'."
BBC. 2002.

"Extinction of Blondes Vastly Overreported; Media Fail to Check Root of 'Study'."
The Washington Post. 2002


==========


Again, back in 1961 similar report by a number of newspapers reported a similar study predicting blondes might be disappearing from most parts of the world within 140 years:Blondes Are in Global Fade-Out.

Blondes, are disappearing on a worldwide scale at increasingly rapid rates, according to a scientific study made in France. Natural blondes, the kind gentlemen prefer most, may be extinct as soon as 50 years,The Insider's Newsletter reports. The International Committee for Demographic Studies, which made the study, believes the trend is related to Darwin's "survival of the fittest" law. Blondes are believed to be more fragile than brunettes who can better adjust to climatic and other environmental changes.

"Blondes Are in Global Fade-Out."
The Appleton Post-Crescent. 1961

RE: blonde joke - hyperion bimbo
 

zinzin, dont blame me .. it landed on my lap ...

https://www.cadillacforum.com/upfile...A37739861A.jpg

click on this one:
you wanna be a member ?

RE: blonde joke - Elmo
 

A blonde who really needed some money she saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory.

She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring.

The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up.

The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, 'I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!'





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RE: blonde joke - Elmo
 

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to the danger, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

Blonde looked over and said "NO! ... SCARF!



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RE: blonde joke - parachute jumping
 

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"
"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."
After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

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