Airlines...
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Super Moderator
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,945
Airlines...
It takes a college degree to fly a plane,
but only a high school diploma to fix it
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripesheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, do***ent their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspession confirmed.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one ………………
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 40
From:
RE: Airlines...
It's funny because when we are going through training, they mention that list somewhere. I forget specifics, but it was funny the first time I heard it, and it's still funny now. I hate airliners in general, I wish military space-A was more widely available like it was back in the 70's-80's...
Never did any flying in bolivia... Mainly CONUS, or Southwest Asia.
Never did any flying in bolivia... Mainly CONUS, or Southwest Asia.
Thread Starter
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Super Moderator
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,945
RE: Airlines...
i still got my take-along toolbox, including safety-wire-pliers...
where? SAC: B52 / KC / CF6 turbo fan -
NCO
where? SAC: B52 / KC / CF6 turbo fan -
NCO
ORIGINAL: kherov
It's funny because when we are going through training, they mention that list somewhere. I forget specifics, but it was funny the first time I heard it, and it's still funny now. I hate airliners in general, I wish military space-A was more widely available like it was back in the 70's-80's...
Never did any flying in bolivia... Mainly CONUS, or Southwest Asia.
It's funny because when we are going through training, they mention that list somewhere. I forget specifics, but it was funny the first time I heard it, and it's still funny now. I hate airliners in general, I wish military space-A was more widely available like it was back in the 70's-80's...
Never did any flying in bolivia... Mainly CONUS, or Southwest Asia.
