Heat doesn't work on 07 Escalade?
 

I'm in AZ so this is the first time I've had to use the heat and I have a 20 minute drive to work. Had the knob turned to 90 and hit "auto" and no heat the entire way. It even had the snowflake turned on.

I fiddled with all the buttons, turning the snow flake off, pointing it at my face, etc...ice cold.

Makes me think it's a thermostat issue or something?

I think you need to check your heater control valve because helps the heater core work properly. Check it under your hood. if the car is running then the vacuum line running from valve to heater core should be warm to touch. If not warm then it means control valve may be stuck in place and you should put in a new one. But before replacing the new one make sure the coolant level is fine. Good luck.